29 Jul

My husband had quintuple bypass surgery- “CAB 5” in doctor speak.  I had no idea that cardiac surgery went beyond a quadruple bypass which, in my opinion, sounds way more dramatic than quintuple bypass surgery.

Perhaps because it’s the quadruple that you always hear about.  Consider figure skating.  (There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.)  In most sports where lycra meets emotion, it’s the quadruple that gets the crowd going.  Never the quintuple; it’s too cumbersome.  If an athlete fails while attempting a quintuple half- gainer, we believe that they deserved to fail.  They aimed too high, couldn’t leave well enough alone.

In any case, my husband had a lot of arteries rerouted and lived to buy bagels again.  (See “Today’s Complaint”).

Here’s the surreal part: before surgery he was kept in a room where the  temperature was maintained at 33 degrees Fahrenheit.  One degree above freezing.  Cold enough to slow blood flow yet warm enough to keep him alive.

You know how flight attendants make you put your seatback up during takeoff and landing?   How they march briskly up the aisle and say things like “I need you to put that seatback up for me hon,” or “How did I end up serving tiny drinks from a tiny cart to a bunch of shiny Americans?”  Actually, no flight attendant has ever said that to me, but I know that they have thought it.  A lot.  We Americans develop quite a sheen when we travel.

I used to think that flight attendants’ behavior was passive aggressive: a way for an “11 credits-shy-of-graduation” employee to exert some small means of control at 30,000 feet.

Now, I sometimes wonder what is behind the “upright and locked” process; is it mysticism, intervention or the micro adjustment of a chair rippling the space/time continuum?

I have seen what a degree can do.

One degree.

The difference-

between snow and rain.

One Response to “CAB 5”

  1. Cindy August 11, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    I actually laughed out loud.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: