Not So Real Simple

9 Oct

Despite popular magazine philosophy, I know that life cannot be improved by shopping.  Tidying a junk drawer by purchasing an “organizational system” from The Container Store defeats the whole notion of having one place for odd bits.  Besides, Container Stores are for people with way too much money and not enough empty shoe boxes.

Buy more shoes and tell your husband that you needed containers.

So how is it that I, a master at discerning want from need, (which works out well when you happen to need the shoes you want) own nine lipsticks- from “Cherries in the Snow” to “Hint of Brick” which are eight more lipsticks than a person needs and each one is horribly, horribly named.  Except for Chap Stick- it does what it says and makes no promises.

As someone who appreciates make up, especially black eyeliner- how can you not love Joan Jett’s or Chrissie Hynde’s raccoon eyes?- I find my lipstick accumulation strange since my lips are one of my best features in that they do not require Spanx to minimize their bulges.

Perhaps if the colors were aptly named so that they represented the arc of my life like “Look At My Lips So You Won’t Notice That I’m Wearing The Same Clothes I Wore to Work Yesterday” (circa 1988) or “That’s Not Lipstain That’s Last Night’s Merlot” (circa this morning), I might remember what I was hoping to improve  and will therefore continue to cheat ad agencies out of making me feel dissatisfied while still allowing for the occasional shoe binge.

I know my lips were with me when I bought every one of those lipsticks.  I’m just surprised that they weren’t able to talk me out of it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: