Take candy from a stranger? No problem. If it’s chocolate, I’ll eat it right there, straight pins and all. Unless the house:
smells like cigarette smoke or pee;
has a ferret or senior living in it. (I will ask.)
is creepy.
has trademarked character or “Believe,” “Believe in Yourself,” or “Life is a Journey”-type flags displayed on the premises (also creepy.)
has a chain link fence around the yard with a pit bull size spot dug out underneath.
hands out anything homemade. Do you have any idea how much human handling goes into making popcorn balls? Gross.
I will not visit a house that gives out dimes
or asks me to perform a trick
or makes me do a trick and then gives me a dime. (In my neighborhood, this was the Hoffman family; they were also the ones who confiscated our baseballs when they landed in their yard. They were jerks and they never adjusted for inflation.)
I will not accept candy from a house that has overflowing garbage cans out front and it’s not even “Garbage Eve”
or has icicle lights hanging from the gutters- all year round. (This clause applies only to the icicle lights. Regular lights may remain year round in case of a Cinco de Mayo emergency.)
or is where the god people live.
Look, it’s my policy, not yours. Get your own candy.
Even I have to admit…pretty funny.
I seem to remember you going trick or treating, without a costume, sometime in March to some random house on Sunset Street…just because you could…and got candy!
I think I told them that I was out of town in October.
Renee
One of your best Renee, but my favorite is the comment about you going “advance” trick or treating.