Got a minute?

17 Nov

A former boss once sent a memo stating that, among other things, and so on, projections, graphs, etc., we need to “air on the side of caution,” and, in addition, more stuff, so on and so forth and, third quarter words, more words, etc. and once, during a power point presentation, she ended with a final slide that read: “Wallah!”

As in, there you have it!

As in voila.

Now, she was my boss and I didn’t care because I can be a happy little cog when in worker mode but I am a happier, more productive, cog when I am not simmering over a misspelled word so I let it go.

Still, even the most content queen of worker bees, can take only so much before telling the emperor that she has no writing skills.

I ignored the misuse of ensure vs. insure and even agreed with her that the CEO would certainly find an “amenicable” fix for disgruntled middle management.  Then she crossed the line: she sent an email indicating that the amount of time employees spent on “personnel” matters had become “disconcerning.”

So on Friday, just before 5:00, I stopped in her office with a “What are your plans for the weekend and do you think that we should hire a proofreader before you mess up so horribly that our stock value plummets?” on my lips when she opened with “Got a minute?”

Always a bad sign, the “got a minute?” at 5:00 on a Friday.  The only thing worse is the “quick minute.”  The “quick minute” means that your desk is being cleared out and Edwardo from security will be walking you to your car.

Instead, she asked me to read over the letter of resignation she had prepared as she had accepted a promotion and would be leaving our department.  Yes, she was moving “onward and upward” without ever knowing that it’s possible to move onward or upward independently.  (Like vim and vigor.  While you rarely see vim on its own, I can shake a martini using only vigor.  Just an observation.)

And so the emperor left.  We had a nice party, there was cake and punch and best wishes, et al.

I did not get the emperor a farewell gift but I distributed her farewell letter, as requested, without reading it first.  It was difficult, but it was what she wanted.  In the letter she explained that while she “would miss us, [she] is excited to pursue this opportunity in the South where the people are more gentile.”

Note: I did not get her a gift.  That does not mean that I didn’t give her a gift.

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4 Responses to “Got a minute?”

  1. Jonathan Broder November 18, 2011 at 2:49 am #

    As my former boss once wrote: I am in total agreeance.

  2. Mary Ellen Keller November 19, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    You know I am totally paranoid about sending any communication with a misspelling, inappropriate use of a word or comma! Or any of the above mentioned items. One of my most visted websites is merriam webster! I have way too many english majors and editors in my life!

    • Mary Ellen Keller November 19, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

      See..typo! Doh!

    • Renee N. November 21, 2011 at 10:56 am #

      Most people truly don’t care. I was just feeling feisty.

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