My Rookie Mistake

30 Nov

My kid has several lunchboxes because he often leaves one at school but still wants to pack lunch on the next day.  The worst is when he leaves the lunchbox with a half-eaten cup of yogurt in it over the weekend.  Come Monday morning, that yogurt is moss.  If the Science Fair was held on Monday mornings- we’re talking blue ribbon/Best of Show.  There should be a Science Fair every Monday morning, like a surprise quiz- with ribbons.

There have been times when all the lunch boxes are missing- either left at school, on the bus, or at a friend’s house and we resort to the Bag of Shame.  The Bag of Shame is a brown paper lunch bag  tricked out with a Sharpie Marker to include drawings, graffiti and quotes about forgetfulness, odors and shame.  Intended to embarrass and motivate, my kid loves the Bag of Shame.  His friends love the Bag of Shame.  The Bag of Shame has proven to be completely ineffective as a motivational tool which is why I have never attempted to patent or mass produce it.  Which is also a shame.

After dinner yesterday, I was clearing the table, stacking dishes and tidying up.  From a lunchbox, I removed: a crusty baguette, carrot sticks, a water bottle and a small wedge of triple-creme Brie.  (We’re no lunch slackers.)   “Ah,” I thought, “the boy didn’t eat much lunch and that’s why he was crabby when he got off the bus.”

How he could not eat the Brie was a mystery.  It was so creamy and delightful looking- never the way it looks at your parties because you are still in sweatpants drying your hair when your guests arrive and, as a result, the cheese gets plated straight from the refrigerator without time to soften or  develop flavor.  Instead, everyone thinks that it’s just a cold chunk of Gouda and it often gets passed over in favor of the Food King brand guacamole that someone else brought.

The triple creme Brie from the lunchbox looked exquisite: shiny, creamy, decadent and expensive.  Just waiting to be scooped and savored.

And so, despite the lovely dinner we finished, despite dietary resolve to stop eating when 80% full and eat only when hungry, I ate the Brie right then and there.

“What are you doing?” snapped the boy as he walked into the kitchen.

“Poor fellow,” I thought.  “Puberty is rough.  The poor kid can’t even ask a simple question without sounding nasty.”  So I answered, jokingly, “What’s it look like I’m doing, Buddy?”

“Eating food from last week’s lunchbox,” he quipped.

Not food, cheese.  I was eating cheese from last week’s lunchbox.

Last week, when the temperatures were unseasonably high and the lunchbox was on the bus.

Boy, that cheese had all the time in the world to warm up and develop flavor.  And spores.

Is it wrong to eat lunchbox leftovers without asking?  Definitely.

Was it wrong to eat the cheese/spores?  It has only made me stronger.  (And 1.2 pounds lighter.)

Mistake or genius?  You decide.

2 Responses to “My Rookie Mistake”

  1. Norm Magnussonnorm November 30, 2011 at 11:23 am #


  2. Cameron scibek December 1, 2011 at 7:57 pm #


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