Why I eschew fame

14 Mar

Elle and I walk on Thursdays.  Elle is also a recovering actress so walking off memories of bad theater, monologues written by undiscovered playwrights and competing with Maggie Gyllenhaal for a role is our form of AA (Actor’s Anonymous) minus the opening prayer and without actually being a friend of Bill W.  We’d both rather be friends of Martin S. or Quentin T.

As we powered our way over the hills, we talked about how our decision not to become famous has worked out better for us and our families.  We were having this discussion while trying to remember how long our  unemployment benefit extensions last.

“Imagine,” one of us said, “that you had Chinese for dinner last night and, without thinking, woke up and took the dog out.”

“Next thing you know, your mom is calling because she saw a picture of you (walking the dog) in the tabloids and she wants to congratulate you on your pregnancy and find out why you couldn’t call to tell her- that she had to find out while on line at the Food King is a sin.”

Reason #1: famous people cannot opt for the Kung Pao bloat whenever they are too tired to make dinner.

Reason #2: famous people probably have to call their mothers more than regular people.  Or pay someone to do mom’s grocery shopping.

Finally, mom asks when you had your eggs frozen because you never even mentioned it and also to remind you that “after a certain age, everyone’s ass looks like Epcot.  Even Drew Barrymore has dimples.  Of course, her’s are on her face, but still.”

Reason #3: even Epcot is famous.

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