Refrigerator Post

31 May

You know how sometimes you invite people over to dinner so that the house will get thoroughly cleaned?  (Not necessarily by me, you understand.)

I have also noticed that the only time that my refrigerator gets totally cleaned is just before vacation.  I find it easier to deal with the refrigerator when I’m already sweaty from cleaning litter boxes than to come home to dangerous mayo, moldy sauerkraut, or Coors Light.  The Coors Light was probably left by a well-meaning dinner guest (circa the last time the house was clean).

Also, I sometimes refer to spouse as “Moldy Sauerkraut” but only when I’m really mad.  Like while cleaning out the refrigerator.

I try not to think of cleaning the refrigerator as throwing money away.  I like to focus, instead, on the time wasted procuring the food. Time that I could have spent researching recipes, buying Le Creuset cookware from Williams-Sonoma and then becoming overwhelmed at the thought of it all and, instead, taking a nap.

So as vacation nears, I often employ my “make-do method” of nutrition.  Basically I halt all grocery shopping until our immediate food needs are assessed.  Items at, near or past expiration must be consumed first: I’m not about to throw away two-week old yogurt based on some random date that the grocer applied.  Don’t even get me started on “Best Before” dates.  I am at my best between 10 and 11AM but you don’t see people lining up to hang out with me then.  Sometimes life hands you lemons, juice or freeze them before they look like limes and all will be fine.

The closer the departure, the weirder the meals.  You know we’re leaving tomorrow when dinner is mango smoothie shots followed by assorted noodles of varying thickness in pesto/grape sauce.  If anyone is still hungry, there’s relish.

Consider yourselves warned.  A dinner invitation means this: the house will be clean and there will be food .  Not everyone may be eating the same things but the hot stuff will be hot and the cold stuff will be tepid.

I’ll be gone pass the beans.

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2 Responses to “Refrigerator Post”

  1. joe May 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

    I swear, anything you write makes my day. Funny stuff. Ya kill mee!

  2. Susan June 1, 2012 at 8:18 am #

    This is a great one. We do the same – love the day-before-departure menu (except in our house, the relish was gone first, it’s the yellow mustard left for dessert).

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