Has it really been a year?

12 Jul

It’s true- a whole year of FA&S and how did you ever exist without it?

Still, we are fortunate that as fresh air becomes more and more difficult to find, sarcasm can be found virtually everywhere- like Oprah.  You can find sarcasm in Hawaii, Italy, Chicago and even hanging out with Deepak Chopra in India (May, 2012).

In fact, every time a fat person slips on ice, Janeane Garofalo gets her wings.

All you have to do is listen, and before long, people will say the most inane things like: “that wasn’t just any NASCAR race.”

Or visit Wal-Marts (the “s” has been added intentionally) on a weekend morning and watch: sarcasm is often generated by the things we see.  There have been Saturdays when I have longed for an astigmatism or a hot poker.  Has Dr. Seuss not yet written “Oh, the Thongs You’ll See!”? Excerpt:

Somehow you’ll wind up downtown at the Mart.

You’ll find men without teeth and beer in their cart.

Wherever you go, wherever you turn,

you’ll learn things you wish you could quickly unlearn.

And IF you should go there, do you turn left or right?

Grown men in thongs are an unpleasant sight.

Oh!  So are women with boobs hanging galore,

and people touching food with raw, open sores.

From New York to San Francisco to Bentonville, Arkansas-

you’ll never be able to unsee what you saw.

And so, as we* here at FA&S enter our second year of telling it like it is and (sometimes) wishing it were otherwise, we wish for you- nothing.  (If we’re gonna use up a wish, it’s going to be on ourselves.)

Happy Anniversary** FA&S!

*  You do know that “we” is just me, right?

** Who’s happy?

3 Responses to “Has it really been a year?”

  1. Jonathan Broder July 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

    Keep the sarcasm coming.

  2. Guy Garrett July 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm #

    Ah Dear writer,

    You will not make a dent in any of that adipose tissue in two years of FA&S. Who do you think is your audience? Any of those Walmart queens?


  3. joe moesch July 12, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

    Come down to a Florida wal-mart.
    Material for all next year abundantly available.
    As well as the “merms”.

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