I Oxymoron and You Can Too!

23 Aug

Oxymorons happen all the time.  Example: Saturday morning at the town dump and your neighbor, while throwing away what looks like a perfectly good lamp says, “This lamp never worked right and I don’t understand.  I just bought it at WalMart.”  (BAM!  You now have your first oxymoron of the day and it’s not even 10AM!): A Quality Purchase from WalMart.

The way I see it, my job as a wordsmith is to record oxymorons so that our understanding of language improves over time and I enjoy a tiny inner trickle of bemusement that’s just for me.

The following list contains oxymorons that I have collected recently (along with horribly named hair salons like, “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow” and “The ClipHer Ship” but that’s for another time.)

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do and, please, feel free to add your own.  Just not “Jumbo Shrimp.”  That one is as old as dirt.  (BAM! Cliche Alert!):

Fat-Free Ice Cream

Department of Environmental Protection

Fluorescent Lighting

Rap Singer

Party of One

Egg White Omelet

Late Fines at the Free Public Library

A Gripping Performance by Adam Sandler

A Film by Adam Sandler

Funnyman Adam Sandler

Ohio-style Pizza

State Worker

White Chocolate

Actor Tom Arnold

A Wait List at the Olive Garden

Mrs. Harvey Fierstein


Music by Sting.

One Response to “I Oxymoron and You Can Too!”

  1. Jonathan Broder August 24, 2012 at 8:03 am #

    Ouch! The snark! Best one was the two (hey there’s an oxymoron) Adam Sandlers references.

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