A High School Tale

5 Sep

It was the night before High School

and all through the house

there were critters in the walls-

way more than one mouse.

The Boy was jumpy with nerves and with worry

yet still, in the walls, the creatures did scurry.

And so the Boy continued to pace

with expressions of doom etched on his face.

What could I tell him to help ease his pain?

That the horrors of High School are all in his brain?

That High School does not resemble real life

anymore than Mayberry or Barney Fife.

That the best you can wish and probably hope for

is that TVLand will never bring back Mr. Roper?

And how can you fret about going to school

when there are mice in the walls which is really uncool?

Your mother works hard

to build a home without mice

and here you are hoping

your homeroom teacher is nice.

How about your poor mother

who wakes up every day

then goes back to bed

once you’re on your way?

Do you think that it’s easy-

living with vermin?

And who decided to name

hermits Herman?

And why are my thoughts

at times such a mess?

But back to the Boy-

I sometimes digress.

In the morning I delivered him

I’m not sure if he slept

and I bet you are thinking

here’s the part where I wept.

No, I did not cry

not a tear did I shed.

I threw open the passenger door,

kissed the top of his head.

And yelled to his peers

as I drove on my way:

“Your first vacation

is Columbus Day!”

And as for the mice

and critters who crawl,

upstairs we have traps

and D-con for you all.

And it’s not that I’m cruel,

and it’s not that I’m lazy

but the mice in the walls

are making me crazy.

One Response to “A High School Tale”

  1. Guy Garrett September 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

    I was a terrible cut- up in high school. The faculty I think conspired to get even. My chemistry teacher insisted I recite all the colors of chemicals of flame tests before I could go to the boy’s room. I should have given him the yellow color of urine as a test. Your piece was funny. You are a little hard on your boy. Maybe to ensure his safe return you could have waved an AK 47, as a joke, of course.

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