What goes on in my mind during meditation…

11 Oct

I observe the “in and out” of breathing as well as the “rise and fall” and all I can think is “why did the teacher say “rise and fall?”  Wouldn’t “up and down” be more appropriate?  Who pairs “in and out” with “rise and fall” and why choose “in and out” knowing that some practitioners (me, and practitioners like me, but mostly me) would become distracted?  Is this some kind of yogi mind test?  And have I failed?  I don’t think I’ve ever failed a test.  And how long has it been since I dreamed that I arrive at English Literature class only to discover that we are taking the final exam and I have attended only one other class during the entire semester and am now in danger of not graduating?”

I love waking from that dream but I hate having it.  (“Waking” and “having,” nice parallelism.  See “in and out/rise and fall” above.)

As I continue to sit, I am instructed to let my mind become spacious but I can’t stop from mentally singing: “we can’t go on together with spacious minds,” a riff on that  underrated song from the 70’s, “Suspicious Minds,” which makes me think about Elvis and how I once read that he would eat copious amounts of food including grilled peanut butter and banana on white bread.

I should make banana bread to use up the spotty bananas in the kitchen.  Of course, I like pecans in banana bread and Spouse does not so I would have to make two loaves to satisfy everyone and now I don’t think I have enough spotty bananas which means that I now must go to the Food King on the off-chance that they have a few spotty bananas lying around.

“The Spotty Bananas” would be a good name for a band.  Not as good as “Jon Voight and the Squirrel Queen” which I thought of yesterday, but maybe as a children’s act?

Meditation, like life, is hard: so many questions, so few answers.  It can be overwhelming enough to make a person sit, immobilized, for an extended period of time.

Oh.  Right.

2 Responses to “What goes on in my mind during meditation…”

  1. Guy Garrett October 11, 2012 at 12:48 pm #

    No wonder you have to diet. You are getting fat on meditation. Rising and falling and in and out I am willing to bet are related to the motions of water at the shore.

    So when are you going to take me to lunch?.

    • Wande October 12, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

      I have that dream. Does everybody have that dream? Hate that dream. Wandering Flatlander is wandering to the flatland this weekend. Camping oceanfront where there will be much rising and falling in and out.

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