Me:0 Universe:1

21 Nov

Let it be known that this occurred well before Halloween or, as I think of it, “Never Again Day.”  Because never, ever again will I allow The Boy and his friends to eat as much candy as they want and then invite all the kids over to hang out while their parents run out for a “quick bite.”  One kid was here until 9:45PM because his parents ran out of “gas.”  And I suppose they couldn’t use their “cell phone” because they were too busy walking along the side of the “road.”  Never.  Again.

In retail, Halloween marks the beginning of “54 days of Rudeness” or “Good Luck Trying to get Someone to Help you Find That in Your Size.”  (Yes John at Colonie Macy*s, you totally sucked the joy out of a fabulous sale in the shoe department and for that you will never be forgiven.  Never.)

My point is this: what you are about to read happened a while ago which is significant because while lately it seems as though everyone is thinking about gifts, back when this happened, I was the only one.  (Maintaining a cutting edge status is very important to me.  Also, I like gifts.)

I woke up wishing, no, hoping, eh…maybe more like wishing, hard to tell.  Those words are so similar, really, it’s just an age difference between them.  Wishing is a younger version of hoping.  Wishing is what kids do.  Hoping is what folks old enough to vote for Obama do.  But I digress.  A lot.  That isn’t a question; it’s a fact.  Digressing is what I do.

Either way, I woke up wanting a present.  Just a present.  Something that I had absolutely no part in the procurement thereof.  I didn’t shop for it, I didn’t plan for it.  I didn’t carry it to the car or even bring it in the house.  I never even thought about it.  It was just there for me and it was delightful, no, wonderful, eh… awesome.  It was awesome.  And it was mine.

I asked the universe to bring me something and I realize now that I should have been more specific.

The Boy was bitten by a dog later that day.  Also noteworthy: this was well before the ax/leg chopping incident of November 14th.  (I wasn’t even speaking to the universe that day.)

So yeah, I asked for and received a story but that’s not what I wanted.

“The Boy was Attacked and All I Got was This Lousy Blog Post.”

Although as blog posts go, it’s not that bad.  (See “digression” above.)

I’m thinking that maybe some ice cream in a dish or a plant in a pot would have been nice.

Screw you Universe; this isn’t over yet.

One Response to “Me:0 Universe:1”

  1. wanderingflatlander December 18, 2012 at 9:26 am #

    f,ing universe. Not believing much in god i hold the universe responsible. Same thing, but at least I can see the universe or parts of it as opposed to that god who I feel has completely ignored me. It’s all about me, right?

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