Dear Diary:
So far 2013 is not shaping up to be the year that I thought it would be.
Despite working out and dieting, I have not lost any weight. I did pull a muscle while trying the Brazil Butt Lift though.
It’s hard to stay mad at Leandro, however- the guy is bubbly and his non-specific use of “eight more” is charming. Plus his non sequiters make exercise fun.
I have always wanted a guy in my life who, for no apparent reason, yells “let’s leap!” and we do (maybe 5-9 times, maybe less).
Also Diary, my friend Lenny started a blog that may be funnier than mine (www.maybeyoushoulddrive.wordpress.com)
and my family has yet to notice that I stopped cleaning the microwave effective 1/1/13.
The bedroom ceiling is not going to paint itself and no one else thinks “Crystal Blue Persuasion” is a good idea anyway.
On the bright side Diary, I have had some success in the child-rearing department. By telling The Boy that every time he leaves debris in his pants pockets a starving African child gets poked in the eye by Bono, my laundry time has become less about picking chewed gum out of sweaters and more about yelling that things need to be put away.
I have high hopes for 2014, though. By then, even more of the Broadway shows I enjoyed as a kid will be revived for a new, previously-unborn audience, Cyndi Lauper will be featured on the “Golden Oldies” radio show and Ron Wood will marry a new 34 year old.
Until then- bottoms (Brazilian sculpted ones, please) up!
Bono! LOL!
Read Lenny’s…you’re way funnier!