A surefire way to get out of an undesirable conversation (it worked for me)

24 Apr

car window control

Say you find yourself in the school parking lot where you have just complimented a student on his performance in the school musical (“Grease”– sans virginity and pregnancy references (“we go together like censorship and family values”) but anyway…) and that same student comes over to the driver’s side window and begins to tell you how he “didn’t really want to be in the play especially when he saw all those lines in the script, he just thought he would never be able to remember them and the only reason he tried out for the play to begin with was because there was a girl whom he liked who told him that he would be good in this part and…”

and he won’t stop using your oxygen (even though you’re outside) and (oh Christ!) he really looks like he’s settling in now, leaning up against the vehicle, forehead on arm, backpack on the ground and all you really wanted to do was offer a little encouragement…

Should you find yourself in this situation, do what I did: use the electric switch to slowly advance the window up while maintaining eye contact until, suddenly, you notice that the window is closing!  Yell something panicky like “Oh my, the window is going up!  What the?  Why is this happening?”

For added drama- bang on the glass until, finally, acceptance.  Sigh, while using your entire body to indicate that we now live in a world where the occasional electronic malfunction far outweighs manually doing anything, then offer an eye roll that sort of says “can you believe this?”

Shrug goodbye as you drive away- even if your own Boy has not yet gotten in the car; he can fend for himself.

You, however, were facing an ACTOR with loads of time and the desire to discuss his craft.

The end totally justifies the means.  Even if The Boy arrives home dusty, late and hungry.

That he is presently not speaking to you is a bonus.

PS: this method, with slight modifications, also works with invisible ear buds, wristwatches, hearing aids and cell phones (he: “but I didn’t even hear it ring!”  You: “I know, right?”) and doors.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, my computer is… and I can’t …what?…but I was just in the middle of… I’ve never seen that screen before…

3 Responses to “A surefire way to get out of an undesirable conversation (it worked for me)”

  1. Janice Glessman April 24, 2013 at 11:57 am #

    Absolutely refreshing——-what Robert? What did you say? Date: Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:33:26 +0000 To: jglessman@hotmail.com

  2. James Thatcher April 24, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

    I just tell them how good they smell….and you thought I wasn’t following your blog


  1. Life’s Essential Hardware | fresh air and sarcasm - May 8, 2013

    […] car windows: see April 24, 2013 but know that the basic premise is closing the window to avoid conversation while deflecting […]

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