Tag Archives: austerity

Austerity Measures (improved)

20 Dec

Instead of replacing his jeans as he gets taller, I buy my kid really cool socks.  Nothing rocks a Middle School Holiday Concert more than a violinist with purple argyle socks- exposed purple argyle socks.  From ankle to knee (mandigger) exposure.  In fact, as of right now, I am officially titling our new austerity plan: “Livin’ the Capri Life.”   As in, “go ask Grandma for money for the Book Fair- you’re Livin’ the Capri Life, son.”

Eliminate sugar from diet and call it a lifestyle change.

Eliminate food from diet as a wacky “New Year/New You” thing.

Eliminate a for-profit health care system, corporate bailouts, tax loopholes that only $400/hr lawyers can find.  Run for President, win, buy a yacht.  Just kidding.  Yachts for everyone.

Use the library for books, internet, newspaper, rest room, heat.

Get an even smaller belt and tighten it.

Make sure to go outside when it’s sunny to ward off depression.

Watch “Fargo” (again).  Challenge yourself to incorporate classic lines into daily conversation.  “I’m working with you,” “I thought we could take care of this here officer,” “He’s fleeing the interview” and “What the Christ?” are all easy enough- one traffic stop and you’re covered.

While this Fargo approach does not help financially, it will turn bleak couch time into happy- fun- time- now couch time, which also wards off depression.

Until things get better, sleep.

%d bloggers like this: